My dog doesn't listen to me, but listens to others

When dogs don't listen to their owners, it is often due to two main factors. The first is inappropriate environmental training (we don't call it socialization anymore). This leads to excessive excitability and reinforced engagement with humans and other dogs. The second factor is a responsive dog-training approach, in which the dog guardian cues behaviors--"sit" / "down" /" come" /"leave" / etc.-- in the middle of a difficult situation. In the latter, the basic training is rushed. Lack of control in these scenarios provides for the rehearsal of unwanted behaviors in dogs.

By addressing both these factors through proper socialization and adopting a proactive approach to dog training, owners can improve their dogs' listening skills.

A phenomenon in the USA

More Americans who have traveled to European countries have noticed a notable difference in how dogs behave in public spaces. In Europe, dogs are mainly off-leash and don’t seek human attention. We have seen this in big cities like Barcelona and Sitges, a small town in Catalonia. Other dog trainers have made the same claim.

In the USA, however, the idea that an excited dog equals “happy” has become the norm. Also, teaching children how to “approach a dog” illustrates the need North Americans have to interact with dogs. Some will consider it rude to refuse to greet their dog. This seems to be a phenomenon particular to the USA. This phenomenon promotes not only selective listening in dogs, but also reactive behaviors on leash and aggression. 

Re-thinking dog socialization

Something dog owners in the USA are doing wrong is obsessing over their puppies' greeting everyone everywhere they take them. The problem here is the accidental conditioning that forms in the puppy's brain, making it expect something meaningful from humans and dogs in the surroundings. As they grow, practicing unruly greetings, for example, the more ingrained the ignoring of the cues will be in their adult brains. 

One thing we teach in our puppy classes is that socialization is about “exposure” to situations the puppy enjoys with their human, and it doesn’t necessarily mean direct contact with the world.

Other factors

Dog’s emotions

Research indicates that dogs exhibit a limited range of emotions, similar to toddlers. Dogs also experience their own feelings in response to events around them. Emotions like anxiety, fear, stress, and excitement are major contributors to your dog ignoring your voice. 

We often interpret a dog's feelings through our emotional lens. This is called anthropomorphization – assigning human traits to animals. While anthropomorphizing animals may seem like a better way to relate to them, it can actually hinder understanding of their true emotions. By projecting your own feelings onto the dog, you could miss important signals and cues that would provide a more accurate understanding of why she isn’t listening to you. 

Fear makes a dog shut down, while excitement can make your dog unresponsive to cues. In both scenarios, cognitive connections can’t form, and cueing your dog wouldn’t trigger a response.

Distractions

The need for immediate results in today's fast-paced American society often overshadows the importance of taking the time to address underlying issues properly. In dog training, distractions can be an issue when teaching your dog “attention” cues, for example. 

Adding distractions to every training session is an important part of canine learning. You want to consider as many relevant distractions as possible, including objects, scenarios, situations, people, animals, and smells. Also, gradually introducing distractions is essential for your dog to respond to your verbal cues. 

Perhaps you introduced only a few distractions into your dog training sessions, or moved from 10 feet to 1 foot away abruptly. In such a case, your dog didn’t learn how to pay attention to your verbal cue.

Proactive approach to your dog’s “selective listening.”

You might find yourself repeating your dog's name to get their attention. “Fido, Watch!”, “Fido!”, “Fido, sit!”… etc. Just by having to repeat yourself, you’re being reactive to your dog not paying attention. Let’s label this as "reactive" human training. You focus on your dog ignoring you, and you get stuck. Reactive human training – usually taught by traditional dog trainers – may provide short-term solutions and usually leaves out promoting long-term prevention of unwanted behaviors.

A “proactive” approach, though, involves taking initiative to prevent and control situations by causing "listening" to happen. Although it's impossible to be able to control every distraction around your dog at any given time, there is a technique that could help you achieve your goals in a more proactive, practical, and geeky way: the 80/20 rule. 

The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto Principle, has had a wide-reaching impact in various aspects of modern life. The Pareto Principle suggests that a significant portion of outcomes (80%) is driven by a small fraction of causes (20%). By applying this theory, dog owners can prioritize efforts on the most influential factors to change their dog’s behavior.

To help your dog respond more consistently to your verbal cues, focus on "20-percent" tasks. For example, if your dog becomes a selective listener when you have people over, you can start implementing these tasks:

• Play more with Fido: identify Fido’s favorite game and play this all the time, regardless of who is around. Forget about other games that include multiple players. 

• Put a hold on interactions with humans outside the household: this is a biggy for many, but efforts towards these simple tasks can make a big difference in helping your dog respond better to your voice.

  • Select a space for your dog to be when expecting a few guests. A gated kitchen is ideally perfect.

  • Adopt the idea of saying “No” or “avoid” greetings with humans on the street. 

• Reinforced attention towards you: perhaps this means focusing on “recall” or “attention” cues and taking a break from teaching other verbal cues for a while.

  • Maybe a task for this area could be having your dog’s daily food allowance in containers around the house, so you can feed him as he quietly hears you talk on the phone.

The bonding between you and your dog will help you commit to your 20 percent. Commitment to your 20-percent tasks will help your dog respond to your verbal commands 80 percent of the time, even if you aren't in control of some situations.

Conclusion

Changing how we approach environmental training for dogs (e.g., how to feel safe around humans, dogs, smells, surfaces, etc.) can proactively improve our dogs' attention skills. Your puppy will have better listening skills when you choose the right opportunities for direct greetings. Otherwise, exposure to humans and dogs (indirect contact) should be the default in socializing a pup.

If your puppy or adult dog is unresponsive to your verbal cues, rule out any health issues with your veterinarian. Then, hire a certified trainer or certified behavior consultant to help you and your dog.

When adding distractions to your training sessions, do so gradually by reducing duration or distance.

Considering the 80/20 rule, prioritizing your training sessions is the first step to proactive dog training. Controlling the 20% of situations that encourage your dog's most attention will help your dog respond better in other situations.